The Most Pathetic Attempt at Smut EVER
by Beloved
Summary: I attempt 2 answer a smut challenge - and fail


Title: The World's Shortest and Most Pathetic Attempt at Smut..EVER!!!  
  
Author: Beloved  
  
Author e-mail: belovedplank@hotmail.com  
  
Fandom: Smallville  
  
Pairing: Clark/Lex - is there any other worth doing?  
  
Clark was cutting out cookies - and taking sneaky bites of the uncooked dough, when he heard the distinct rumble of a European motor. A great, beaming, totally Clark smile crossed his face, his eyes lighting up, as he knew that it signaled the arrival of his best friend and secret sexual obsession, Lex Luthor.  
  
Unknowing of the fact that he had powdered sugar on his lips, and a smear of cookie dough on the side of his nose, Clark practically bounced out onto the porch to greet Lex with his still beaming smile.  
  
Lex slowed the car to a skidding halt in the gladly truck-free (meaning no Jonathan Kent! Yay!) driveway, already smiling slightly at the sight of Clark waiting out in the porch for him.  
  
However, as he walked towards Clark, he took a sudden sharp intake of breath. The powdered sugar lightly dusting Clark's lips made them look even more delectable than usual, and Lex had a sudden urge to lick the cookie dough off of Clark's face.  
  
Clark was following the movements of his friend closely, taking any opportunity - as usual, to check him out. Therefore, he did not miss the unmistakable flash of heat in Lex's eyes, or the sharp intake of breath. For a second Clark looked heavenward, wondering if dreams really do come true, before turning a suddenly seductive smile upon his best friend, now determined to seduce him before his parents returned home.  
  
"Hey Lex. You wanna come in?"  
  
Lex shook his head slightly. For a moment there he thought Clark had been looking at him like.nah!  
  
"Were are the parental units?"  
  
"In Metropolis. They won't be back till tomorrow afternoon. So, you gonna come in now?"  
  
"Sure. So what are you going to do with yourself while your parents are away? I'm guessing no more wild parties." Lex couldn't help that remark, delivered complete with smirk, as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Clark mock-glared at him. "No. Just making cookies. But now you're here I bet we could spark up some fireworks," he added seductively.  
  
Lex glanced at Clark to see if he was serious, but Clark was already back to rolling out the dough for some more cookies, so Lex decided to take it as a joke.  
  
"So, you want any help with those cookies?"  
  
"Lex Luthor? Cooking? Now this I have to see!"  
  
Rolling up his sleeves, Lex smirked at Clark once again as he said, "By the way, you have cookie dough on your nose."  
  
The two of them had quickly developed a rhythm, and had finished the first batch and were on their way through the second. However, Clark was silently berating himself, as he had got no further in the seduction of his best friend. 'That's it,' he thought. 'Time to resort to drastic measures'.  
  
Clark picked up a piece of soft cookie dough on smeared across Lex's head.  
  
Lex stood stock still for a second, before turning slowly to face him.  
  
"Clark Jerome Kent. Did you just smear cookie dough on my head?"  
  
"Yup!" Clark replied, a childish grin unwillingly crossing his face.  
  
"This means war Kent!"  
  
At that proclamation, the two of them started throwing cookie dough.  
  
The 'war' didn't last very long, as they were too busy laughing to continue - and there was not much dough left anyway. Clark was rolling on the floor in laughter, and Lex was leaning against the sink, holding his side as he laughed.  
  
As their laughter wound down, Clark looked up at Lex. Covered with cookie dough, eyes sparkling with mirth, Clark thought Lex had never looked sexier.  
  
Clark made his move. He got up, walked over to Lex, and ran his finger across his cheek. At Lex's quickly in taken breath, Clark took the fingerful of cookie dough into his mouth suggestively, watching Lex watch him.  
  
"Clark? Are you alright?"  
  
Clark half-growled at Lex.  
  
"I want you Lex! I've been trying to tell you all day! I want your sexy body!"  
  
Lex looked Clark up and down, and then, unconsciously imitating Clark's earlier reaction of looking heavenward for a second, wondering if dreams really do come true, before spreading his arms and saying, "Come on then. What're you waiting for?"  
  
Clark pounced.  
  
Rumpled, and yet free of cookie dough, Clark and Lex went upstairs hand in hand, to eat........cookies, and do...........naughty things!!  
  
THE END 


End file.
